Happy Valentine’s Day, from the Exit Planning Institute! For all you cynics out there, true love might not be in the cards for you this year – especially if you are an entrepreneur. According to Marriage.com, “Divorce lawyers estimate that the entrepreneur divorce rate is five or ten percent higher than the regular one. If we take that divorce rate in the USA is about 38% that would mean that the entrepreneur divorce rate varies between 43% and 48%.” Why do you think that is? What characteristics account for this increased risk of divorce? And what can you do to limit that risk?
For most business owners, their career is their passion – now imagine how their spouse feels…
“You Spend Every Night at the Office”
“You spend more time in the office than on our relationship” is a classic trope in romantic comedies. While it may be a cheesy line, it is not entirely inaccurate. Nearly a quarter (23%) of business owners take fewer than two vacation days annually. Work envelopes every aspect of business owners’ lives that even on vacation, which is meant to be a literal break from work, 75% of business owners still conduct business activities.
How to Limit this Risk
The lack of an adequate work-life balance hinders the opportunities for growth in the romantic relationship because all of the owner’s focus is on their business. We know as a business owner, there are going to be some late nights at the office. However, if you actively work on decentralizing yourself from the business, these nights will be few and far between. In a business that is independent of the owner, the Executive Leadership Team is empowered with the accountability and authority to make key decisions without the owner.
“We Never Communicate”
Studies show that 53% of couples credit their lack of communication as the key motivator for their divorce. How often do you talk to your spouse about something not related to your work? In an Inc. article, Meg Cadoux Hirshberg writes, “More fundamentally, people start companies to do their own things, while marriage is about doing things together.” If the only communication in your marriage is centered on your business goals and aspirations, the passion in the marriage itself will dwindle.
How to Limit this Risk
While your business is clearly an important part of your life, it is not the only thing in your life. Instead of inundating your spouse with the daily workings of your business, try to leave work at the office. An owner with a defined personal purpose and vision for their life inside and outside of their company will be more open in their communication. Spend time with your spouse to talk about your personal goals instead of your business goals to improve communication.
In a business, nothing is more important than open and effective lines of communication between the owner and their team. There is a huge difference between transactional and transformational conversations. To be an effective owner, you must move off the transactional conversations and towards transformational experiences for your team.
Consider these questions when looking into your business:
- Do you foster a community feeling amongst the employees through collaboration and creativity?
- Do you encourage communication between all levels of employees and is employee feedback considered and accepted?
“You’ve Changed”
More than 50% of divorce cases cite “irreconcilable differences” as the justification for ending the marriage. Studies have shown that owners who share family goals with their spouses are 27% happier than those with differing goals. According to Inc., “Sometimes, entrepreneurship changes a person — and not for the better. In the crucible of company building, traits such as bossiness, self-importance, and impatience intensify.” A business owner who begins a new venture, or works towards scaling their current business, will have the added stressors of their business looming over their marriage.
How to Limit this Risk
While it is not possible to mitigate every risk in your business, you can reduce the impact on your marriage by setting realistic and actionable goals for yourself based on your values and purpose. Spend time with your spouse to determine your values and personal goals. If the goals of your business do not follow the same values, it can cause strife in your relationship.
These same issues can cause your business to suffer as well. Without clearly defined core values in your company, there is no standard for professional actions.
Consider these questions when looking at your business:
- Are your core values reflected in each member of your team?
- Is your core purpose as a company inspirational for your employees?
- Can you describe actual experiences and share stories that demonstrate your commitment to your core values and purpose?
“You’re Not Invested in Our Relationship”
A common cause for divorce is an imbalance in each partner’s commitment to their relationship. With the increased time spent in their business, owners end up with less time and energy to focus on their personal relationships. This can lead to their spouse feeling neglected, and ultimately like their partner is not invested in their marriage.
How to Limit this Risk
Your business is a crucial part of your identity, but it is not the only facet of your life. While it is important to ensure the success of your business, the success of your relationship can sometimes take a back seat. Decentralizing yourself from daily business operations will not only provide your employees with more opportunities for advancement but will make you more available for your personal endeavors.
According to an article written in Forbes, “The more your employees feel appreciated and valued, the harder they work to succeed, and thus help the company succeed. If they are passionate about the company’s mission and product, they are more invested in the company and helping it improve.” In fact, having highly engaged employees can lead to a 202% increase in performance.
Divorce can be messy, especially for a business owner. Your business, although important, is not more important than your relationship with your spouse and your family. Learn how to decentralize yourself from your business here. But tonight, take your spouse out on a date. You both deserve it.
